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Many of the wizbits Dad taught me were about cars. Somehow, in our society, dealing with cars parallels life in many ways. I think that in trying to help me with cars, Dad was working on the way I would deal with other people. (Or, maybe he was just trying to teach me about cars, and I tried to read between the lines.) Some apply to people, some just to cars, but since I will probably deal with both for the rest of my life, I’m glad he taught them to me. There doesn’t seem to be a pattern to these. Each one was more or less taught to me on its own merit. They are sort of “stand-alone” wizbits.

Before leaving home, I had several vehicles to drive. They included a few bicycles, a mini bike, a Cushman Truckster (sort of like the mail handlers used to drive), a 1959 English Ford Anglia, a 1969 Simca GLS (a French Chrysler product), a 1972 AMC Gremlin, and a 1976 Monte Carlo. Each time I bought a car or traded up, I was careful to check with Dad to see what he could do to guide me. I don’t think he ever steered me wrong, but I also don’t think I always followed his advice either.

Once, probably when I was aching for a brand new Corvette that I could never have afforded, Dad told me that everybody drives a used car. He was not belittling others by any means, he was just letting me know that it was OK to drive a used car because, as soon as someone drives off the lot with a brand-spanking-new car… it’s used. So the fact is, EVERYBODY drives one. Maybe mine is a little older than yours, or a little younger, but we all drive used cars.

When Dad told me this, it was probably no consolation. After all, what teenager wants to hear ANY reason that he can not afford the car of his dreams? It did help me to understand, eventually, what I had to do at the time. I had to buy a used car. Mainly, because that’s all I could afford. However, now I was able do that with my head held high, knowing all along, that the richest man in town drove a used car too.

Now I can reflect back and get even more from this. You can achieve a certain sense of equality here. Understanding that in some small way, we are all the same, sort of, in that we all drive used cars.

Even economically, it just makes sense to buy a used car. Buying a used car allows someone else to take the “battering” in value loss. A new car loses most of its value during the first year of use.

A couple of years ago, I attended a seminar held by a well-known economic advisor who was selling his system for achieving financial security and wealth. One of the first things they told us to persuade us to buy into the system was: You should always buy a used car. The instructor went on to tell the reasons: Used cars, even slightly used, can be bought for hundreds even thousands less than their brand new counterparts. Buying a “demonstrator” or “executive” car will even save 10% to 30% off the sticker price. After all, a week later, would you really know the difference? He then added more reasons that concerned financing the new cars for five or six years or more, pointing out that as soon as you drive off the lot, the car is worth about 20% less than it was a few FEET ago. This causes an effect called being “upside-down” in your loan: You owe more than the car is worth!

I bought the “system.” Why wouldn’t I? These guys were as smart as Dad!

The reason I traded cars from my Simca to the Gremlin was that the driver’s side of the Simca had been destroyed in an accident. (It’s a long story, but it wasn’t my fault, REALLY! Even if I did get the ticket!) So when I sold it, sans doors, for $150 to a guy who was going to make one good car out of two wrecked ones, I felt really bad about losing such a good car when I had paid so dearly for it. (Well, $850 was a lot of money to me then.)

In his usual wisdom, Dad gave me a rule of thumb for finding out if I was getting my money’s worth from my cars: “If you were renting, you’d gladly pay 5¢ per mile for the use of the car, right? Well, determine how many miles you drove it, then multiply that times the 5¢ per mile and see if you’ve come out ahead.” Using this logic, I figured some 20,000 miles or so that I’d driven the car, did some quick math…

20,000 x $0.05 = $1,000.00

and figured out that I would have paid $1000 in this “rent-it” scenario. Having paid only $850 for it, I felt pretty good. I had MADE $150 on the deal, and still sold it for an extra $150, making a total of $300 profit overall! Not bad for a college sophomore.

Today, you could probably use 25¢, 35¢ or even 50¢ or more to do the same calculation for your purposes, or if you really want to feel good, call up the car rental agency and ask what it costs to rent a car like yours. It won’t put money in your pocket, but it will make you feel better about the money that left it.

At this point, you would by now expect some correlation to how many miles you get on another person and how to multiply it times some number to see how satisfied you should be with your spouse or friend. However, I’ll let you figure out your own relationship on this one and save my reputation to get you to read on from here. So, just use this one to feel good about your car.

When I was driving the Gremlin (boy, I thought I was cool!), I found a car on a lot that I really, really wanted. It was a 1976 blue, two-door Monte Carlo with a landau roof. I looked it over, drove it, fell in love with it, checked with my banker to see what the book price would be, then found out that the used car dealer was asking a little more than I thought he should or than I could afford.

Turning to Dad, I asked for his advice. “You have to be willing to walk off the lot,” he told me. I asked him what that meant and he explained. When you buy a used car, the salesperson will always try to get you to buy at a high price first, then if you don’t buy, they will come down on the price to try to get your business. But… not buying is not enough. You have to be willing to leave to show that you are not willing to pay the price.

“But, Dad, I really want this car! What if someone else buys it?” His reply was that sometimes you have to take that chance to get what you want. Occasionally, you miss one, but you get a better deal on the ones you get. So, I walked off the lot. I don’t remember exactly what happened, except that the day or two I waited seemed like one of the longest periods I ever had to endure. Each day, I drove by the lot to see that the car was still there. Finally, we got together and I bought the car.

As it turns out, this is one of the really big tricks to buying a used car. I’ve heard “stories” of people saving big money by walking off the lot and the salesperson calling the next day with the deal of the century. Of course, it works, Dad told me it would.

In life, we have to be willing to walk sometimes. This rule seems to apply to not only cars but jobs, friendships, just about anything in which two people face off. If your salesperson, opponent, friend, boss, whatever, thinks that you will do anything to keep your current position or situation, then they have no reason to change, even if the change would be good for them and you. Sometimes, “walking off the lot” allows that person to see themselves, look up the costs, and make a change. Sometimes, it means losing what you had. But if what you had was not good, did you really need it?

I had a dorm roommate in college once who moved out on me. When I asked him why he said: “You treat me like you think you’re my mother.”

Unfortunately, it was true. I was dating a girl at home, traveling the hour and a half each way on the weekends to be with her, and totally abandoning any social life at school. Whenever my roommate went somewhere, it was like the Spanish Inquisition: “Where are you going?”, “Who are you going with?”, “When will you be back?” My genuine curiosity came across as motherhood.

As he left, he made the statement, “I think we will be better friends if I leave.” I could hardly believe it. By the way… he was right.

When a new roommate was assigned, I was quite a different person, and my ex-roommate and I did become better friends. In my opinion, this method should never be used just to get your way. That just makes you a big baby. Rather, when you can get someone’s attention who is really being unreasonable, and help to make a change for the better, it is a good alternative method. Unlike cars, people require a LOT of love when you deal with them. If you fail to use it, you’ll end up hurting everyone involved.

When I was a senior in high school, I had a job in the meat market of a local grocery store. This was one of the jobs Dad helped me find through one of his friends. It was a legitimate position working cleanup for the five or six butchers that worked there. I started on a Monday afternoon and my schedule was to work afternoons after school, until 8:00 PM on Thursday and Friday, and all day Saturday.

I had never done this type of work before and found that by Wednesday, the amount of work they had told me to do seemed insurmountable. With each additional item I was asked to do, my attitude and depression got worse. By the end of the day on Wednesday, I was ready to quit.

I got off at 5:00 PM and Dad’s business was open until 5:30, so I went straight from work to see Dad and to tell him that I just couldn’t do it. In tears I went to his office to give him the bad news. Dad asked me to close the door, let me tell him what was wrong, then told me the following story. “Carl, when I was a little older than you, I had a job working as a worker on a construction site. The work was very hard, moving brick and mud, cleaning up, and working as a general “gofer.” I tried very hard to do a good job, often overworking myself in an attempt to get it all done. Some days, I worked too hard and I was wearing myself out.

“One of the workers noticed how hard I was working and took me aside. He told me that I was working so hard that I would soon be worthless if I kept up that pace. He then suggested that I slow down just a little, pacing myself, and just do whatever I could do that day. If there was still work left to do at the end of the day, it would still be there tomorrow and we could get it done then.”

Dad then emphasized it by telling me, “If you don’t get it done today, it will be there tomorrow. And if it’s really important that it be done today, if you have worked hard and well, the others will pitch in and help you get it done.” I had never looked at it that way before. After Dad’s explanation, I felt better. I still wasn’t sure if I wanted this job, but he had convinced me to try again. The next morning, I had a new outlook on life. By that afternoon, I was feeling great. I listened to my favorite rock and roll tape on to way to work and was still rockin’ when I started in on the insurmountable tasks that awaited me. The people in the meat market were amazed at my transformation. Just yesterday, they had a helper with a depressed, bad attitude, who was slamming pans and growling at everyone. Now, before them stood a new man. Excited about life and all it held, I went about my work with vigor and vitality that they had not seen.

Dad was correct. I was able to do most of the work by putting forth a good effort. The remaining work was either done the following day, or someone would pitch in and help me get it done. I later found out that my predecessor was not as ambitious as I and often left important jobs undone for days at a time. Even from the first, I was doing a better job, but I felt inadequate. Don’t assume you’re doing a bad job, just do the best you can. If you can’t get it done today… it will be here tomorrow.

One of Dad’s more common sayings was “Don’t burn your bridges before you cross them.” It was a fairly common saying and relatively easy to understand. However, as I watched Dad work on one project and another, I gained a deeper understanding of what just what it was that he meant.

Bridges are opportunities. You can only take advantage of an opportunity by crossing a bridge. The reference to burning the bridges goes back to the concept of keeping foes from following you by burning the bridge you just crossed. In battle, this was an effective way of slowing or stopping an opponent. However, it also keeps you from going back that way. Sometimes, that may be exactly what you wanted. However, there are times when you need not only to avoid burning those bridges, but you may even want to repair one now and again so that it will be there when you return down the path. Not every path you take is a permanent direction for you. You may even decide that you want to take that “road less traveled” just to see what’s down that path. There’s no use destroying the road as you go, you may find that it leads you in a direction that you have no desire to pursue.

The most common problem with bridge-burning relates to jobs. The old adage of “the grass is always greener on the other side” applies in great measure to job hunting. Just when you find a job that looks promising, another turns up and looks like it is just the thing you need to be doing. But what if it doesn’t work out? What will you do then? Well, if you’ve burned your bridge (left your job without proper notice and on good terms), you can forget going back, there will be nothing but ashes there to walk across. Unless you’re a fire-walker, you are out of luck… and out of a job.

When you drive down the road, your mind begins to wonder and you find sometimes that you have not been paying much attention to what you have passed. Sometimes, you suddenly realize that you have gone through a whole town (or two) without noticing anything. You also cross many bridges when you drive. I’d be willing to guess that you cross bridges every day and don’t even realize it. On your way to work or school or to the store or whatever tomorrow, notice the bridges. Some are small and cross only a drainage ditch. Others may cross rivers or highways or other things. But they are a part of our lives that we take for granted and rarely notice. The challenge then is to notice the bridges first. Then, you’ll have the opportunity to NOT burn them. If we’re not careful, we may sometimes race across a bridge (a figurative bridge) so fast that it burns in our trail. Then, it’s too late to go back that way, and we didn’t even know we burned it!

Well, Dad rarely burned a bridge on either side of him, and hopefully, I’ve learned to do the same. Now… if I can just learn to notice the bridges…

As I prepared to leave for my freshman year at college, I became quite concerned about leaving my girlfriend at home. As usual, I went to Dad for comfort and support. After telling him about my concerns, Dad had some really important advice for me. With a grin on his face, he said, “Carl, you know what they say: ‘Absence makes the heart grow fonder…’, then he added, “…but sometimes it’s for somebody else!”

As you might imagine, this was no great comfort to me and I’m sure Dad “danced” around trying to make a joke out of it. I probably left Dad even more confused and more concerned.

School time came and I went away. My girlfriend and I kept our friendship going with the help of Ma Bell and frequent trips home. In fact, I hardly had a chance to get to know anyone at school because I was always gone on the weekends. By the end of the first semester, however, I wasn’t sure about my feelings for her or about why I wanted to date other girls! By February, she broke up with me. I was crushed. (I crush easily.) I got mad and confronted her. With every reason she gave, I tried to provide a suitable “hole” in her argument. It was too late, however, and no amount of arguing would do. We were history. By this time, we had both found other people we were interested in and our “fondness” had diminished.

Dad was right again. It has been proven over and over again. You may have even experienced a similar situation in your life. It is really quite surprising that more people don’t realize how true this is. The really surprising thing is that when couples are having trouble, one of the first ways they try to remedy the situation is to spend time away from each other! If you watch enough movies, you know this almost never works. Invariably, both parties find someone else to “rebound” to and the original relationship crumbles.

Mother and Dad were married for over 50 years. They had times that they are separated for short periods of time. But when either one had to be gone for very long, they both try to go. Separate vacations may be the “in” thing from time to time, but real relationships are built when people really try to live with the other person.

Look around you. Is there someone you are trying to be absent from in an attempt to make things better? Don’t bother, it won’t work. Love is not something you feel, love is something you do. If you don’t love someone anymore, make a decision to love them again and do it. When you learn to overlook faults, accept differences and really appreciate the other person, you will have something that can last forever.

When I was in college in the mid to late ’70s, we had suffered through the “Hippie” reign. Because of this, the majority of the average college person’s wardrobe consisted of flare-legged jeans and T-shirts. About 90% of my wardrobe was made up of about five pairs of jeans and around 50 T-shirts with various designs and logos on them. I wore these just about everywhere I went.

I enjoyed dressing casually while in college and when I went home to work in the family business, I continued to wear my standard attire. My job in the family was not very well defined. I was the “Manager Trainee,” a job description that included just about anything Dad wanted me to do. He had in mind letting me work through each department in the business so that when the rotation was done, I would have a pretty good idea just what went on throughout the business. Looking back I think it worked pretty well.

While I was working in the warehouse, or driving the delivery truck, the T-shirts were quite acceptable for my daily uniform. There came a day, however, when Dad decided that I needed to grow up a little. To help me along, he encouraged me to dress more professionally. I still remember the day… I was wearing a T-shirt with a large Mickey Mouse on it. Dad called me to his office and asked me to close the door. I sat down and asked what he wanted. He said, “Carl, you need to do something about your clothes.”

Somewhat surprised, I asked, “What do you mean?”

He said, “Well, you dress like a kid… and you’re not a kid anymore. Remember what Paul said in the Bible? ‘When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I thought as a child, I understood as a child. But when I became a man, I put away childish things.’”

Well, I knew that it was from the Bible, and I knew it was true, but at the same time, I was crushed. I couldn’t believe that my own dad would give me a hard time about what I wore to work! Disgruntled, I left his office trying to figure out how I could circumvent this “command.” However, as I cooled down, I realized that Dad was right. The time had come for me to grow up and become a man… and that included dressing more professionally.

About that time, I was taking the Dale Carnegie Course in Human Relations. In that course, you learn to set goals and follow through with them. So I set a goal to replace my wardrobe with newer, more professional clothes. It was a big goal! I started small and with the help of some of my friends, the mission was accomplished.

It is somewhat true that “clothes make the man” and Dad knew that I would make a “better man” if I would learn to dress more professionally. I wonder if I would still be working in a warehouse if it weren’t for Dad and his insight.

When I was working in outside sales for Dad, I worked hard to prove myself as a productive employee. I didn’t want anyone to think of me as a family freeloader. My brothers and I all had to go through that.

One month I had done exceptionally well and broken all my previous sales records. I went to Dad to tell him the news. He was very excited with me and then almost in a 180° turnaround, said: “Fantastic! Now, what are you going to do this month?” I was astounded! Here I had come to him with the greatest sales record of my “career” and he had “fluffed” it off and asked about this month! I was almost mad!

Dad noticed my attitude and went on with his explanation. He reminded me of the analogy that he taught me when I first got started in sales. It’s called the Sausage Mill Theory. A sausage mill is a grinder that makes sausage. It has a large hopper that you fill with the meat and spices, then the ingredients are pushed down the “throat” of the mill into a corkscrew that forces it through a plate filled with small holes. A rotating blade cuts the sausage as it passes through the holes.

The idea is, that in order to get the sausage out of the mill, you must first fill the hopper. Once you have done that, it often takes a while before anything comes out. If you stop putting in the meat and spices, there will be a time later when no sausage comes out for a while. It is a continuous process.

Successful sales must include the same process with the “meat” of sales, prospecting and proposals. You must continuously work with clients and potential customers in order to keep the mill full. As long as you keep putting potential sales into the hopper, sales will continue to be produced. Stop working and somewhere down the road, you will stop closing sales for a while.

Even after closing your best month ever, you cannot rest on your laurels. You must continue to produce. Doing well is great. It is a time of celebration. Just be sure you don’t let your celebration time interfere with your production time.

Sales, relationships and even living life are all continuous processes. When things are going well, we have a tendency to sit back and relax. That’s the time we should keep going, though, taking advantage of the momentum we have.

Continuous productivity is the key. No matter what we do for a living, whether we have to make commissions to pay our way, or are on a salary, we are responsible for being productive. When we stop being productive, even for a while, things will slow down somewhere down the road. It is not evident at first, but later, you pay for it.

Keep on keeping on. Never give up. Always persevere. It has been said many times, in many ways, but the story is the same. Don’t stop the sausage mill.

If you lived in North Alabama in the 1960s, if you didn’t live on or near a farm, you either knew someone who did or were related to someone who did. The good side of this was that you got to learn about some of life’s little secrets through the eyes of a farmer.

If I recall correctly, the idea of not carrying all your eggs in one basket relates to someone who went out to gather eggs from the hen house. You can carry a lot of eggs in a basket, but if you put them all in one basket, then drop that basket, you’ve lost them all. However, if you had two or more baskets, you reduced the chances dramatically of losing all your eggs.

The same holds true about most any job. If you only have one client, and you lose that client, you are ruined. Many clients help to smooth out cash flow and reduce risk. It is vitally important, in most situations, to be diversified to reduce your risks.

This lesson has been important to me. I have carefully tried to find just the right thing to work on that allows me to complement my main source of income, for instance. Dad did the same thing. Since before I can remember, Dad had little side ventures that kept him busy, developed his skills, taught him lessons and sometimes even produced additional income!

Dad has always been able to keep some sort of operation going. One of the first major undertakings was an ice cream drive-in that is still in business today, some 40 years later. It must have been a good idea. Others came and went like fads and fashions. In addition to the “business,” Dad has either owned or been involved with a number of businesses and ventures over the years. Of course, there has always been a long line of horse-trading of cars, boats, guns, motorcycles, and too many other items to mention.

He taught me that this free enterprise system we have is very valuable. It provides us with opportunities too vast to even comprehend. Around every corner there awaits a new possibility. I don’t think Dad will ever stop making deals and trading things. It’s in his blood.

During the course of all this trading and wheeling and dealing, Dad taught me one more lesson that I think he learned as he taught me. That lesson is that when you have too many baskets, you cause problems too. With eggs, the problems are pretty simple. Too many baskets meant having to make several trips to the house, or having to watch the other animals while someone made the runs to the house.

With other things, the problems get more complex. Sometimes you try to carry all the baskets at once. This creates a similar, yet different problem. You may end up dropping a basket and not even realize it. You may juggle so many baskets that you trip and lose them all. Anything is possible. If you work too hard, your family suffers. If you spend too much time with your family, work will suffer.

The trick is to know how many baskets you can carry, then never attempt to pick up more than that number. Doing so would be certain disaster. Just look around the barnyard at all the broken eggs. It happens all the time.

This wizbit was one of those less verbal/more demonstrated types that Dad taught me with his actions. Dad has never seemed to be intimidated by anything. I’m sure he was, at times, but he did a good job of hiding it. As far as we were concerned, Dad would attempt anything worth doing.

More than once, Dad took a little of nothing and made it into a thriving business. Faced with the odds, Dad often ignored them and went on anyway. Sometimes it worked out just right, other times, it was an uphill climb. But the important thing was that he tried, and usually succeeded.

Since I have coined this wizbit from what I think Dad was teaching me, I’ll explain why I used the word “almost” in it. Dad was always trying to get us to see the optimistic side of things. We were always looking at the downside of things and he would try to lift us up and raise our sights. We thought it was stupid, and so do our kids. (I hope we do as good a job as Mother and Dad did!)

With all this optimistic talk and encouragement, Dad was still realistic. He would let us know that there were limits to what we could, or should, do. These limits, though, were set more for safety’s sake or based on moral issues than due to our ability to perform the tasks.

As I have mentioned earlier, I am continually amazed at the things Dad can do. Most of these he does because he knows he can if he will just try to do them. These include construction, engineering, wiring, heating/cooling/ventilation, inventing, selling, and the list that goes on and on and is still growing.

Dad did not teach me to do all the things I now can do. But he did teach me that I could do them… if I would just try to do them. I may never have as many accomplishments behind me as Dad does, but I will be able to do things that Dad may never be able to do because Dad taught me to take what I have to work with and make it be the tool I need to succeed. As I work on various broken items, design and build a set of shelves, write programs for a computer, (even write a book!), I am continually amazed at what God and Dad have done for me. I don’t really understand how this information got passed on to me, but it did, and I am glad!

I think one of Dad’s favorite verses in the Bible must be Philippians 4:13 which states: “I can do all things through Christ, who gives me strength.” The verse may not actually apply to some of the physical jobs that we do, but it is a source of strength and encouragement that you rarely find.

Thank you, Dad, for teaching me that I do not have to sit and allow things to happen to me, for showing me that there are opportunities around every corner, for showing me that I can do almost anything… if I’ll try.