Fly catching was never a sport for which I yearned. I like to swat flies, but I have little desire to actually catch them. I have even “hunted” flies with a rubber band and my finger! But this phrase that talks about flies has very little to do with them.
I’m sure you’ve heard that you “catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.” I’d like to share Dad’s rendition of it anyway. When Dad first said this I was really confused. We weren’t even talking about flies! We were probably yelling at one another trying to force something out of the other.
After the initial shock, Dad explained how you catch flies. The underlying fact is that you are trying to attract the files, not run them off. Honey attracts flies. Vinegar does not. If anything, vinegar would repel flies rather than attract. After all, what does it do for you? Honey, on the other hand, is very attractive in look, smell, and taste. Flies like it a lot.
When we heard this, we were not trying to catch flies. My three brothers and I did, however, try to catch each other from time to time. And very often, we would try, in our own way, to ‘convince’ each other to do something or to give us something they had. This convincing usually consisted of a lot of screaming, grabbing, hitting and general violence. This was, of course, very soothing to our parents. (What? You don’t believe me?!)
As Dad further explained, we found out that, according to Dad, if we would be nicer, we would be more likely to get what we wanted. This came as quite a shock to us and if we suspected someone of doing this, we would immediately refuse to give in. But since then, we have all found out that Dad was right. Love always prevails. It doesn’t always win, but it always is a winner. You may not get what you want, but you do have a better life. Just the same, the ‘honey’ does get you more than you would get using ‘vinegar’ in almost every situation.
There is a joke about a man who’s pulling a chain down the street. When asked why he is pulling the chain, he replies: “Have you ever tried to PUSH one?” It’s pretty funny, don’t you think? But it is also very real. Pushing people is not very productive. Pulling people is much better. Forcing someone to do something is not satisfying for either party.
The really successful people in life are those who learn how to lead people on to great things. Zig Ziglar, the famous motivational speaker often ends his speeches by saying, “You can have anything you want in life… if you’ll just help enough other people get what they want.” We need to remember that all relationships are give-and-take, not take-then-decide- whether-to-give.
We need to be flycatchers. Dad’s wizbit does it again. Let’s go make things better. Bring on the honey.
